kimiswa

things to do:

  1. smile not too often

  2. seldom laugh (or if u can, try not to really laugh anymore)

  3. dont make others laugh (cause u’ll end up laughing too)

i think my facial muscles are already strained (did i use the right term?!) due to overuse.. i can feel it.. not that i feel overfatigued or anything.. its just that.. i dunno.. basta, i can sense it OK?!.. so im trying my hardest to limit these activities which involves too much stretching of my f.muscles (e.g. smiling widely, laughing for hours, etc.).. and also, i noticed laugh lines forming!! no, theyre already formed and they show!! *sigh*.. but i know this is impossible.. yah! it really IS impossible cause right now i am smiling!! bs! this is nonsense.. im out of words (im always out of words!).. damn! is there anything lousier than this?! of course there is!! DUH?! dumb!! seriously,.. this gift of smile of mine is a pain in the face!! (conceited) it is.. really..! thats all i can say.. you wont understand! DUH?! dumb!

my father took the news rather calmer than what i wouldve expected of him.. it made my heart melt, i almost cried after reading his message (OA, OA..).. ok, so my dad wasnt angry, was he?! i really dont know ’cause i didnt see his facial expression.. it was just a text.. but at least.. and my mum.. i thought if my dad wasnt mad then it would be my mum (i mean someone’s got to discipline me and all, right?!).. but she wasnt.. it was like.. i dont know.. but one thing’s for sure.. i dont wanna go to outerspace anymore.. hahahha.. im not like other hopeless hopefuls out there who wants to visit outerspace.. thinking it would be once in a lifetime.. yah, whatever!! bs!

i broke something today.. and its big time.. i wish an alien would drop from outer space and take me as hostage.. i really would love to disappear right now.. i cant face it.. im still suffering from post traumatic stress (did i use it right?!), not that i was abused or anything.. i mean.. this is not the usual problem teenage girls cry about like heartbreak or somthin.. its serious you know and it involves money!! hahha.. i just cant stop thinkin about it and the scene keeps on repeating on and on.. but my head’s not aching.. i think im breaking every valuable thing i have.. my comb’s broken.. i sat on it, it snapped.. then this one im talking about.. and then i banged my mp3 on the wall.. real hard.. i was jumpin and all.. i dont know how much more damage ill wreak.. maybe ill crush my head or fracture my whole body.. this sucks!! and i need to concentrate because tomorrow’s on-site evaluation in research and the day after, oral defense.. i really hope we wont be at the top10.. its evil of me to hope something like this after all the hard work my groupmates did.. what the heck.. im really disoriented right now.. i dont want to face the judges.. this sucks! "my life is a mess!".. hahah.. im really under intense pressure right now.. and my dad’s not online.. i want to tell him i broke his property.. and he’ll probably get mad at me!! i know,  i deserve it.. but i was hoping he would give me a fatherly advice like he always does.. i hate technology.. they ruin my life.. aargh..!! they dont help at all..